You Have Died of Dysentery - Unisex Hoodie Size:M Curved light blue text along

Curved light blue text along the bottom reads "IT ISN'T URANUS

acknowledging that surviving December requires the same energy as a Slayer mosh pit

wielding a sword and ornate round shield depicting fighting figures

Graduation requirements include surviving long enough to earn your vengeance

You Have Died of Dysentery - Unisex Hoodie Size:M Curved light blue text alongOregon Trail taught an entire generation that manifest destiny ends not with a bang but with violent diarrhea, announced in the same calm green font as a math quiz. Every elder millennial's real history education fits on a floppy disk and a tombstone. The Details: Green monochrome pixel art depicts an ox hitched to a covered wagon, rendered in blocky 8 bit style mimicking an Apple II green phosphor display. A bordered rectangle below contains